Work Worthy

A good work ethic requires more than duct tape and rubber bands.

Recently a coaching client shared with me his ongoing problems with an underperformer on the team he manages. In order to meet deadlines, instead of working more diligently, the guy was turning in shoddy, sub-par, work. It was clear to this manager that the guy didn’t have the kind of work ethic it took to work hard or long enough to produce better results.

As he related to me, he was going to have to define “enough” and “good quality” to his underperforming direct report. Apparently, no one, including the previous manager, had ever done that. All this guy knew, as he told his manager when handing in assigned tasks, was “I did the work. Isn’t that enough?”

This reminded me of the time a friend related how they’d had to make do with limited resources in a remote area of a lesser-developed country during wartime. Fortunate to even own a refrigerator, they fixed it any way they could when needed, including using duct tape and a rubber band to hold the door closed. It worked, but it was neither high quality nor enough. Thankfully, they recognized that for what it was—a temporary fix—and did a better, more permanent, repair as soon as possible.

So, then, how do we define “enough”, and “high (enough) quality”?

• At least meets expectations and hopefully exceeds them—more and better than asked for.
• Durable, long-lasting—not just a quick fix; something people can count on to work for a very long time.
• Done right, the best-known possible way, the first time—something someone won’t have to re-do.
• Not lacking in any way.

How do we achieve that work ethic that produces worthy results?

W orth it in our minds and hearts— when we consider the work worthy of our focused attention and effort, we’ll achieve worthy work. “In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.” Prov. 14:23

O bjective— we need a good reason to do the work—a “for the sake of…” that goes beyond meeting the minimum requirement to stay out of trouble. For example,

“Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.” Prov. 12:11

R ight attitude and motive—giving it our best so others get the best—the greatest benefit for the greatest good for the greatest number of people. This honors God, which makes work a form of worship. “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Col. 3:17

K aizen—a Japanese term meaning continuously seeking to improve our skill, efficiency, and effectiveness. In other words, not settling for what we’re already able to do, but having a growth mindset to keep getting better at whatever we do and could do if we learn it. Have as our goal growth in both character and competence, such as written of David– “David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.” Ps. 78:72

Then, “wrap” these in:

• Diligence—Not stopping until we’re sure we’ve done all we can do.
• Perseverance—not giving up when we encounter obstacles; pressing in and pressing on to overcome any obstacle or setback.

“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Cor. 15:58

Hard? Definitely. In fact, we can’t do all this without knowing who our ultimate Boss is. At some point, demotivation, discouragement, and fatigue will overcome us when the work seems too hard, too meaningless, and/or whoever’s asking for it not worth giving our best for. But when we do it for the Lord, He’ll give us the purpose, power, and hope to work worthy.

That’s why–“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Col. 3:23-24

It also helps knowing that “…it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Phil. 2:13

Along with this, we have the Lord, our ultimate Boss Himself, setting the example for working worthy: “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Heb. 12:2-3

The next time our boss, a team leader, a family member, or a friend, asks us to do something, let’s give them something more permanent and effective than duct tape and rubber bands. Work worthy.

What Happens If It Doesn’t

What happens if it doesn’t happen? Sometimes we need to let it.

You know the scenario—either you or someone else says, “If I don’t do this, it won’t happen.” That may be true. If you don’t take the initiative, take ownership, take responsibility, the work may not get done, the hoped-for event may not happen, something won’t get taken care of.

Now, ask yourself this question— “What happens if it doesn’t happen?” If that means disaster, then you’ll have to step in and make sure nothing drops.

But what if it falls far short of the Apocalypse if that thing doesn’t happen? Better yet, what if it not happening produces a greater good as a result?

Or, what if we find out we’re wrong? What if someone else does the work? Years ago, my “adopted mom”, a very kind and capable, servant-hearted, woman, lamented to me about no one but her stepping up to spearhead the monthly church charity-lunches held on behalf of the community. Others were discovering that there is such a thing as a free lunch, at least for them, but not for her (or whoever paid for the food)!

I responded, “Maybe no one else is stepping up because they know you’ll always do it for them.” “Yes, but if I don’t do it, it won’t happen!”  That’s the common plight and slogan of get-it-done people everywhere, in every nation, tribe, organization, corporation, and family.

Maybe they’re right. Maybe you’re right if you’re this person—the only one taking ownership. In that case, let me suggest ways to get out of this perpetual scenario (once you’re sure the world and/or your job won’t end if it doesn’t get done):

Let people know you can’t do it. Tell them you don’t have the capacity, time, energy, resources, to be in charge. You can offer to help (if you’d like) and advise but not be responsible.

Ask for volunteers to take on that role, or if possible, assign someone. Delegate. If you hesitate to do this, ask yourself why. Are you afraid the job won’t get done right if you don’t do it? Not keeping our hands on something means giving up control. Giving up control requires trust in whoever we give responsibility (and therefore control) to. Yes, that can be scary. Especially if you’re used to being the one in charge.

But if we want relief, we have to trust someone else with the process and the product. Just ask Moses in the Bible. He was overwhelmed and overburdened with taking care of a million contentious Israelites. “If I don’t do it, it won’t happen!” Finally, his father-in-law Jethro talked sense into him and got him to trust some others with judging disputes and taking care of other matters. (See Exod. 18:13-26) That’s how we got our current court system in the U.S., which works much better than sending everything straight to the Supreme Court.

Ultimately, we have to trust the Lord Himself to make happen whatever needs to happen. We do this by:

1. Knowing Who He is—His character— All powerful, all good, holy, loving, etc. All of Scripture demonstrates and states this.

2. Remembering what He’s done—His track record. For example—

“Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Ps. 103:2-5

3. Remembering we’re not Him— when we feel like everything will drop and cease functioning without us, remind ourselves there’s only one Messiah needed in the universe, and He came over two thousand years ago!

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Is. 9:6

With all this in mind, don’t worry! Instead, anticipate these possible positive results:

1. Someone else will step up and you’ll be relieved of overwhelm and extra burden.

2. Whoever steps up will appreciate having the opportunity. As long as you were occupying that space of leadership/ownership/getting-it-done, others didn’t see any room for them. Now that space is free, and someone is glad to step in.

3. Maybe no one can or will do that work and you’ll be right, “it” won’t happen—but now you can ask yourself if it needed to! If no one cares enough to get it done, maybe it’s not so vital.

4. What if it really did need to happen? Everyone will discover that when it doesn’t, and it’s not your fault! Next time, someone else will make sure it does, because people won’t just depend on you. You did, after all, let them know. Lesson learned. As long as your not-doing didn’t cause the downfall of the company, the organization, the church, or your family, which is highly unlikely, that lesson is positive.

Don’t be afraid to find out what happens if you don’t make it happen! Sometimes, just as Jesus told Martha when she complained to him about having to “make it happen”, He tells us to choose “the better part” of sitting at His feet and leaving the “happen” in His and others’ hands –Lk. 10:38-42.

Keep Mind-Building

Minds are like cars—when kept in neutral, they’ll always roll backwards, downhill.

You’ve likely heard the adage, “Use it or lose it”. Whether it’s our physical muscles or brain “muscles”, they naturally atrophy from lack of exercise. To make sure that doesn’t happen, I’d go one step farther and say, “Build it or lose it.” Why?

First, maintenance by itself tends to be boring. By definition, there’s nothing new. Maintaining means continuing to do whatever we’ve done before. That becomes repetitive, and therefore boring, because we’re not learning or developing in any way.

Second, due to the above, we lose motivation. We know we should maintain and do upkeep, but without anything interesting to look forward to or vision to draw us in, we lack enough “why”. With no reason to “put our brains in gear” and use them, we’ll stay in neutral. Going back to the car analogy—if we have nowhere we want to go and no reason to get there, we’re not going to put our car in “drive”. Likewise, we need a strong reason to learn a new skill and knowledge.

How, then, do we stay motivated to “keep our brain in gear” and develop it in new ways? Like any muscle development, that’s not comfortable or easy. It takes energy and effort, and often perseverance when we feel like giving up.

1. Begin with a growth mindset—Decide that learning, stretching, and expanding our comfort zone is worth it for its own sake. It gives us more ability to contribute to any group or organization we’re part of, improves relationships, makes us feel better about ourselves and life. It’s good for our health—prevents dementia, keeps us mentally fit, and even physically fit as our energy use keeps us from becoming sluggish.

“An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.” Prov. 18:15

“Let the wise hear and increase in learning…” Prov. 1:5

The best way to grow is in the Lord, since He’s the source of all wisdom and ability.

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” 2 Pet. 3:18

• Add a specific vision—“If I learn/develop/accomplish this, it will… (the benefit)”. For example, I love learning foreign languages—that’s because I love to get to know and communicate with people in and from other cultures. But, when we lived in other countries, I focused on learning that particular language, because that’s the one I needed. Other ones are great, but they weren’t relevant in that situation or place.  For you, this learn-for-the-sake-of principle may apply to certain tech. skills, people skills, mechanical skills, etc.

If nothing else, we have the highest, ultimate goal of mind-renewal for transformation, which makes us better than the world, and brings eternal benefit.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Rom. 12:2

• Put #1 and 2 together for the stuff that doesn’t fit our natural interest or “bent”. Thankfully we can go to the Lord for help with these areas that don’t come naturally for us:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5

That help might come directly through a lightbulb-type realization, or it may come through another person. Such as my friend in college who helped me understand the material in our genetics course. When the book didn’t make sense and the professor’s lectures were even more confusing, I’d ask her. The Lord enabled her to explain things to me in ways I could understand and enabled me to understand it. My vision for learning the material came from needing to keep my GPA up, for the sake of…(you get it). Why was I even in a genetics course with mostly pre-med majors, graded on a curve? Because it fulfilled my math and science requirements in our liberal-arts college and was more interesting than other math classes. Sometimes life requires us to learn that which we’d rather not!

For example, technology and all its frequent changes and advances. Many of us, myself included, aren’t naturally “tekkie”s. But working online since 2011 has motivated me, out of necessity, to learn a lot of tech-skills, to the point where I even help some younger people solve tech issues (especially during COVID). Talk about a fun boost to self-esteem! Yes, I do still get help from my son for the way-too-hard stuff, but since he went to college and got married, I know I can’t depend on him!

The point here is, keep going and growing even in the hard stuff. Yes, there are friends and sons to help us learn, but it’s better to have that knowledge and skill ourselves for when we need it, especially when the need is immediate and/or others aren’t available.

If none of those positive motivations help, ask yourself if you really want to lose your chance to contribute, your ability to solve problems, or anything else we lose when our brains atrophy, rolling backwards, downhill. It’s easier to keep going forward than it is to climb back uphill!

Why We Need to Take Breaks

You can’t drive in a nail without lifting up the hammer.

Productivity depends on taking breaks. Granted, if the hammer stays up the nail will never get driven in. And if we don’t get back to work, the work won’t get done. But continuing non-stop doesn’t work either, and it’s actually counterproductive. Why?

• Fatigue—It makes us tired, and the more tired we get, the less we can do.
• Focus-drainage—It gets harder to concentrate after looking at the same thing too long. After a while we get bored with it, so we’re more easily distracted.
• Freshness-loss— Similar to the above, when we stare at the same issue or document so long, we can’t derive any fresh perspective from it anymore. At that point it’s hard to innovate, solve, and/or create because we’ve run out of ideas.
• Fear—The more we continuously stare at something the more problems, potential problems, and risk of failure and its fallout we see. That creates fear of failure, losing respect from others, losing our position, etc.

Solution? Take a break! Not so long that we forget what we were doing or don’t have enough time to finish or reach a good stopping point. But long enough to recharge for maximum focus and freshness physically and mentally.

This works for studying, content-writing, presentation preparation, building, etc. My tech-industry clients tell me it helps them with things like software development and issue-solutions as well.

For example: In college and grad school, I took breaks while studying for exams. And the more major the exam, the more breaks I took. Yes, that’s counterintuitive and doesn’t seem to make sense. But it (along with actually studying), produced the desired outcome—top grades. Why?

First, it gave me renewed energy. Whether it was a good walk/run, a good read, a good time of playing music on an instrument, a good chat with a friend, another activity, etc., it recharged me physically, emotionally, and mentally so I could tackle that studying again. That activity may even be sleep. Better to take a nap or get a good night’s sleep than feel sleepy while trying to learn or memorize things! Just as we can’t drive a vehicle on “E”, we can’t drive our minds or bodies when they’re devoid of energy—so “fill ‘er up with regular”!

Second, I found it easier to focus. What had become “same old, same old”, from which I was eager for a distraction from, could now keep my attention again. Taking a break is basically an intentional, targeted, distraction. Instead of our minds getting pulled away from something, we put our minds on something else. That gives us agency and power, versus being a passive victim of whatever passes by.

Third, the subject matter regained its freshness. Tied to the above, after my break, I was able to look at and understand the material in a fresh way. Besides finding something interesting in it, I could engage with it in ways that worked better. The less connected to our natural interests, natural “bent”, and abilities a subject is, the more difficult it is to learn, internalize, and work with. For these, we need to keep taking breaks and refreshing our minds and perspectives in order to get a handle on them. The easy stuff we can often get done “in one go”. Going back to the hammer-and-nail imagery— the harder the wood, the more hammer lifting and blows we need to drive the nail in. The same applies to areas where our brains are “denser”.

Finally, it reduced my anxiety. Instead of worrying about what I didn’t know well enough or might not remember, I could focus on pleasant, edifying, things. Things that put me in a better frame of mind to concentrate so I could learn and remember what I needed to. Brain science backs this up. Anxiety causes our adrenaline to move to our amygdala, which is the “fight-or-flight” part of our brain that causes gut-level, emotional reactions. That same adrenaline, in order to go there, has to leave our pre-frontal cortex—the part where we concentrate, think rationally, and solve problems that way. In other words, anxiety drains our mental energy, making us unable to learn, solve, think, memorize, or handle things the way we need to—such as hard stuff in subjects we’re preparing to take an exam on. Back then I didn’t know all this brain science, but I intuitively grasped how it helped to relax and come back to it a bit later!

Years later I advised my kids to do the same thing. At first they were skeptical, but they tried it and it worked for them too. And studying is just one example. Any time we’re tired, bored, stuck in a mental rut, and fearful of failing because we’re not “getting it” or we can’t find a way to make it work, take a break! Lift that hammer.

When we do, we “nail it” every time!

That is, after all, why the Lord rested and created the Sabbath (Gen. 2:2). Sabbaths that Jesus Himself practiced when He was on earth, besides “getting away” once in a while to recharge. (see Mk. 2:27)

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me…” Mat. 11:28-29.

Sometimes that “yoke” is a good break.

Remember the Next Morning

Remember the next morning before you do or say anything now!

My senior year of high school I had the blessing of spending over eleven months in rural Finland as an exchange student. During that time a popular public-service announcement would appear frequently on TV, in which a big, strong, guy would declare in resonant bass tones in Finnish, “Remember the next morning!” Everyone watching and/or hearing understood that he was warning people to not drink too much alcohol, whether at social gatherings or by themselves, because the accompanying consequences would certainly manifest before long.

Many years have passed, but I’ve never forgotten the warning—not because I’ve ever gotten drunk or anywhere near it, but because it’s a great reminder to consider the implications and consequences of what we’re about to do or say. For example:

1. An angry outburst or retort—We all get triggered. People “push our buttons”. It’s really hard to not just react accordingly. But here’s what can happen if we do—We get fired; people lose respect for us; we get blamed for the trouble that’s caused; we get fined and/or kicked out (think of coaches and players); we get heart and stomach trouble; etc. What we don’t get is our desired result.

“’But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.’” Mat. 5:22

How do we avoid this? Whole books have been written on this subject of anger-management, but for here we can start with mindset and attitude—how we view other people leads to how we interpret their words and responses toward us. Also, what we prioritize. If we consider our health, reputation, and relationships more important than venting, that will help us hold back from angry outbursts and retorts. That’s good sense.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Prov. 19:11

2. Giving in to carnal temptation—to indulge in substance abuse, cheat on our life-partner, overeat or eat that harmful food,  be lazy, etc. Temptation, by nature, means something hard to resist because it appeals to our nature. But here’s what can happen if we give in—stupid behavior; accidents (that could be fatal); broken relationships and family; shame; poor health and possible hospitalization, even death; poor performance ratings; being let go.

To avoid this, ask ourselves, “Is it worth whatever we’re about to give into?”  We can also enlist the Lord’s help, as well as others, to help us not give in. They’ll give us the support and accountability we need to withstand temptation. Even knowing He will give us a better way, a way out, gives us the spiritual and psychological strength to resist those urges.

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so you can endure it.” 1 Cor. 10:13

3. Information sharing—aka gossip, slander, sabotaging others because we don’t like them, are jealous of them, and/or want to get ahead. At first it can feel so good and even produce desired outcomes. But in reality, it’s a boomerang, coming back on the head of whoever shares incriminating information. If we do this, it makes others not trust us, not want to work with us, want to get back at us, etc. In other words, we make a lot of enemies that way. Those people will then avoid us, refuse to cooperate with us, block us from getting promoted, complain about us to leaders, and perhaps take revenge on us. Not the way to make friends, influence people, achieve professional goals, or have a pleasant life!

We avoid all this strife and enmity by not spreading rumors. This doesn’t mean covering up evil when it needs to be brought to light. It does mean keeping things confidential for the right reasons, for the sake of good relationships.

“Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.” Prov. 11:13

It also helps to remember that when we slander/gossip, we’re breaking God’s law—and He’s the Judge!

“You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord.” Lev. 19:16

Add to this list as you realize other cause and effect implications adversely affecting your life. Then stop, think, and remember the next morning—the “harvest” of what we did or said earlier.

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” Gal. 6:7-8

How to Avoid Toxic Leadership

Everyone knows that toxic leaders ruin an organization. Ball hogs and junkyard dogs are bad enough on a team but put them in leadership and they’ll “run off” all the true service animals!

What does that leave an organization with? A toxic atmosphere with no “air purifiers” in it. People either stay because: 1) They’re causing the toxicity; 2) They don’t notice the toxicity because they’ve become desensitized to it; or, 3) They notice but have to stay—which means they’ll either shut down to protect themselves, or eventually become toxic themselves to fit in.

I was talking to a client last week who mentioned a senior manager in his department who’d been there for 40 years. She always barked and snapped at everyone, and blamed others whenever anything went wrong. This lady was mean, controlling, harsh, demanding, and uncooperative. How she got her position no one knew, and no one knew why upper management left her  there, given the harm she was doing to morale and productivity.

The description reminded me of a junkyard dog—the alpha—running off whoever preferred a good home to a junkyard!

How can we make our organizational atmospheres more conducive to those who want to collaborate, serve, and build each other up for the good of the whole group?

Two words—Lead well.

1.Lead ourselves—Become “air purifiers”, versus toxic smoke. First, make sure that we’re not the problem. If we discover second-hand smoke, radioactive fallout, and/or chemical-warfare elements in every environment we’re part of, we’re probably the cause! On the other hand, we can be the ones who create warm, welcoming, and wholesome atmospheres wherever we go, regardless of our position.

Much like my dear mother-in-love who resides independently in a senior-center—wherever she goes, she spreads joy, cheer, and encouragement. No matter who she meets, whether maintenance workers, food-service personnel, other residents, or the new owner/CEO, she makes them glad for the encounter. People will even go out of their way to find her, just so they can laugh, smile, and feel better! Imagine whole teams, departments, organizations, companies, and families full of “air-purifying”, “air-freshening”, people like this! It starts with us. Are we a fragrance or a stench?

“’So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.'” Mat. 7:12

2.Lead our peers—Encourage, inspire, and help others. Be a team-player versus a “ball-hog”. As tempting as it is to seek recognition and visibility by doing the “big-impact” and glamorous tasks, in the end, sharing, caring, and collaborating will get us farther, better. How? Those we help and share credit with will (usually) appreciate it and tell others. Even if they don’t publicly acknowledge us, others still see and will report it. Good leaders above us also notice what’s going on. If they don’t notice or care, they’re probably those toxic leaders we don’t want to hang around with anyway.

Also, regardless of the reward of recognition, we’ll feel a lot better having good relationships with those around us in whatever group we’re part of. Well-wishing always works better than causing people to wish us down a well!

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Eph. 4:29

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” 1 Thes. 5:11

3.Lead upward— Influence those above us in a good way. Support them in changing the atmosphere. Have the courage to give constructive feedback. Depending on who we’re giving feedback to, this can be quite risky. Some leaders, especially the “junkyard dog” types, don’t want to hear from anyone, let alone those under them. Them we leave or avoid. But most leaders above us either don’t mind, and even appreciate it. They want to grow. They want to become more effective in their leadership. They want to know what their team/group is really thinking and what’s really going on. If they don’t hear from us or anyone else about needed improvements, they’ll certainly see the effects—such as low morale, lack of motivation, decrease in work quality, etc. Helping our leaders helps everyone.

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.” Prov. 3:27 Even if we have to do it scared, incurring the risk of reprisal, don’t withhold the good of input and suggestions our leaders need.

4.Lead downward— Use whatever authority we have to take out any toxins, even if it means removing a person causing it.

“…whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave…” Mat. 20:26-27

“Therefore an overseer must be above reproach… sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…” 1 Tim. 3:2

Once in this position of influence, go back to #1 and make sure we’re not being, doing, or saying anything to pollute the organizational environment. Let the “clean air act” start with us!

The Stone on Top of the Stack

The stone on top of the stack isn’t the biggest one. Nor is it necessarily the most beautiful. In fact, it’s there because of the bigger ones supporting it underneath. Likewise, a higher position doesn’t equal a superior person.

Human nature and every culture think it does. We assume that just because someone has risen in the ranks of whatever organization, corporation, or group they’re in, it must mean they’re better. Expressions such as “Cream rises to the top” serve to reinforce this impression.

Let’s examine this further:

First, ask “how did they get there?” (to that high position). If they used unscrupulous means, they’re actually worse, when it comes to character! And there’s no evidence of anything better than us. If it was by “luck” or however we interpret things that seem to have no reason behind them, then it’s nothing of their own doing, and therefore doesn’t qualify them as “better”. If someone helped them, give credit to the helper, not the recipient.

If they got there by having the right and relevant skills, that only means they’re better at something, not inherently better. They discovered and made the most and best of their natural talents, abilities, and acquired skills. That makes them someone to learn from. If they have good character as well, that makes them great role models and mentors. Plus, it shows good judgment on the part of whoever promoted them. But again, they weren’t created better.

Second, how do we define value? By what we do? By what we’ve accomplished? By how often we win? By how big a fish we are in how big a pond? If that’s the case, we’re all in trouble, because there will always be bigger fish and bigger ponds, someone who does more, gets more accolades, wins more, etc. And what happens when we can no longer accomplish or win anything, when we “shrink” as it were?

Or when someone’s situation and/or circumstances change? Every senior in high school that goes to college becomes a lowly freshman again, even the class president! Even execs can find themselves unemployed if their company fails or the economy goes bust. Does that make the now-freshman or now-unemployed suddenly inferior?

If our value and worth come from our position, we’re all in trouble. If they come from the reality that “all [people] are created equal”, then we’re safe, because we’ll never lose that. Those in lower positions need never feel their time, talents, treasures, or personhood matter less. Those in higher positions can stay humble and stress less over keeping up appearances or losing their value if they lose their position.

Yes, aspire to be and do great things. Aspire to leadership—for greater service, not because it makes us superior to others. You may be the stone on top of the stack, but you got there by the support of bigger rocks!

It helps to remember this when we think about talking to those in high positions of leadership, and/or when we enter their presence. Recently a coaching client and I were talking about her anxiety about messaging or meeting with senior leaders.  She was preparing for an upcoming 30-minute meeting with one, and told me, “I’m afraid I might waste their time. Their time is so valuable!”

“I get that, not wanting to waste anyone’s time”, I affirmed. “I don’t want to waste anyone’s time either. Do you consider your own time valuable?”

“Yeah, but…” As we talked more, it became clear that she considered higher-level people’s time more valuable than hers because they themselves had more value due to their position.

We examined the validity of that concept, and I helped her see that everyone’s time is valuable because everyone is valuable. So, while not wanting to waste someone’s time is very considerate and kind, that applies to everyone we meet with, not just high-up leaders. At the same time, it also takes the pressure off and anxiety away when we meet with them, knowing we meet as equals in terms of value, and each has something to offer the other.

After all, (as I told my client), “We all put our trousers on one leg at a time”. Even those of us who wear designer clothing!

James 1:9-11 gives us perspective: “Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position.But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wildflower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls, and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.”

What if we are one of those in a high position of leadership? A humble mindset, recognizing we all have equal value and importance, helps us lead well and gain true respect from our followers. It also informs us how to treat others.

“My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, ‘Here’s a good seat for you,’ but say to the poor man, ‘You stand there’ or ‘Sit on the floor by my feet,’ have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?” James 2:1-4

That kind of favoritism and discrimination occur when we assume that “higher is better”.

But each of us are made in the image of God (Gen. 1:27). Regardless of our position or the clothes that come with it, we’re His Designer product. Regardless of our shape, size, or position in the stack!

How to End Your Day

At the end of the day, there has to be an end of the day.

In other words, know when it’s time to stop working. Set boundaries around your time. Work won’t stop, but we can.

But how can we get everything done? In one way, we can’t. As long as we live, we’ll have stuff we need to do. In any job, any position, any age, any organization, and any personal goals. Even babies discover right away they have assignments—get fed, get their diaper changed, get whatever else they need from someone. That’s called “delegating”.

The load will wax and wane in various seasons of life, but the completion of it all won’t end until we do here on earth.

That’s actually more encouraging than it seems. Why? Since that’s an unrealistic expectation, it means we don’t need to expect it of ourselves. At least not in terms of the all-encompassing “everything”.

At the same time, we can define the “everything” we need to complete in a day, a week, a month, a quarter, a year, and so on. We do that by:

• Setting the boundary for each day before starting it. Decide ahead of time when it ends, in terms of getting stuff done.
• Defining what we really need to get done in each of those periods of time. For example, if the bill has to be paid by this date, the deadline for completion is “end of day”, etc., that means “do it today”.
• Prioritizing so those “have to”s do get done. Using Michael Hyatt’s matrix of urgent and important– whatever is both important and urgent, do that first. Then decide between whatever’s urgent but not so important, or important but not so urgent. Hint—if the professor, boss, leader, says it’s urgent, it’s urgent.
• Leaving the rest as “hope to”s—at least for now, until they become more urgent and/or important.
• Keeping the “have-to-do” list short enough to not feel pressured to keep going past the time limit to get it all done.
• Not taking on too much to begin with. Ask “Is this really for me to do?” Not to encourage irresponsibility, although, it’s likely that people who have trouble ending their day aren’t lazy to begin with. This leads to–
• Delegating. That skill we naturally developed as babies comes in handy as a lifelong, lifesaving, skill. Moses in the Bible learned this lesson from his father-in-law, when he was trying to judge a million people by himself (see Ex. 18:13-26).
• Realizing that whatever doesn’t get done today will still get done in time as long as we pace ourselves. Our productivity is proportionate to our energy and concentration. Trying to cram more into a never-ending day will result in a decline in both.

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Ps. 90:12

Here’s an example, from my own life: As with many (if not all of us), I’m easily distracted by “Do this NOW!” signals entering my mind. How do these signals come? Sometimes they’re someone coming up to me and telling me “I need this done/Please…” (or some form of that). Other times they appear as notices at the top or bottom of my computer screen. Or as text/message notifications on my phone or a communication app. Then, there’s the ever-present urge to check my email, and when I do, a message reminds me of something I need to do and forgot earlier, and now “time is running out…better do it now before I forget again!” You get the picture.

Such as while I’ve been writing this article, all of the above as happened. I skirted the computer “flash-up” notices, glanced at the pop-ups on the phone (sound is off), and managed to stay the course here… until a thought popped into my head—“Oh, I’d better check when my doctor’s appointment is tomorrow, so I can answer the coaching client who just texted to ask if I’m available at a certain time.” That “wind-gust” of thought blew me off course into checking my email and seeing that I still had to fill out the new-patient intake form. You know, those never-ending pages of required fields that demand our life story before we can see the medical practitioner. Tyranny of the “urgent” kicked in and I started filling it out…next…next… “Oh yeah, my article! Do I really need to fill out this form immediately when the appointment isn’t until tomorrow?!”

That’s the key question to ask—“Do I really need to (whatever it is) right now?” The sooner we ask that, the better. Develop a habit of it until that question becomes the automatic filter-trigger for every demand that enters our minds from whatever source. Once triggered, assess that demand according to the conditions listed above. Is it within bounds? Is it something someone can do and perhaps do better? Where does it belong on the “urgent/important” matrix? If I say “yes” to this now, what else am I saying “no” to?

It also helps to: Keep our phone upside down and on silent; turn off any sound-making notices; stopping visual notifications so they don’t break our concentration; (if pop-up notices still need to occur, train our mind to glance quickly and ignore them for now until we can check them later). That will help us end our day when we need to, when we don’t keep getting “blown away”, and having to keep coming back.

For our own sake as well as the sake of others, we need to end our day and get some rest! Leaders– this includes us– we lead best when we know how to end our days well.

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Ps. 4:8

Jesus is here to help us– Mat. 11:28-30– “’Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’”

How are you going to end your day today?

True Loyalty

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.” Mat. 6:24

Many years ago, a few months after we got our dog Zoey, the Lord surprised us by calling us back overseas to teach for the three-month fall semester, at the university we’d taught at before. We’d returned to seminary for me to complete my required DMin. courses in residence, and at this point, I only needed to write my dissertation. With our older son in college, homeschooling our younger son, and husband between jobs, we were free to go back. Except for Zoey.

After all, Zoey had come to us in such a miraculous way, had been our constant companion, and we loved and enjoyed her so much. Sure, in many ways it would be great to go back to that university and serve there again, even for that short while. It would put a squeeze on the dissertation that was due by early spring, but I knew He’d enable me, since He called me.

Zoey was a different matter. What would happen to her while we were gone? Who could keep her? Would she, in her doggy way, be hurt and resent our leaving her and “dumping her off” on someone else? Or, equally sad and disturbing, would she adjust so well that she’d forget us and/or we wouldn’t matter to her anymore?

Our heavenly Father’s calling rang loud and clear to us, though, so we heeded it and returned overseas to that university at the request of their president. The logistics weren’t easy— finding someone to housesit our humble trailer while we were gone, preparations, and getting someone to keep a big golden retriever for 3 months and then have to give her back! And what about airfare? He took care of all that, and off we went, leaving Zoey in the care of a loving family who had their own female yellow lab and wanted to see what it was like to have two dogs. Not only that, they lived in a large home with a large yard, a doggie door, and three kids, one our son’s age.

For a dog, who could ask for more? Palatial accommodations, room to roam, friends, energetic kids to play with, human “parents” with time and resources to take her on all kinds of adventures, freedom to go out and in at will, the works!

For us, that was the problem. We and what we had to offer could hardly compare. Would she willingly return to us from “heaven on earth” when we returned after three months overseas? Would she leave all that comfort and fun behind without feeling forced to?

She did! As soon as we entered our friends’ house to pick her up, she came bounding up to us, so excited and happy to see us, you’d have thought we’d brought her gifts! All we’d brought were ourselves—three members of a human family who loved her. She also gladly accompanied us back to our humble home—no backing away, no moping around depressed. Just enjoying our company again, as if we’d never had to leave.

That’s true loyalty. We humans can learn a lot from most canines in this area. How loyal are we to our family, friends, and heavenly Father? How about churches, groups, companies, etc., as long as they don’t go against our highest loyalty to our Father? We’ll know when we’re tested by someone or somewhere else offering: More creature comfort; more fun; more freedom; more abundance; more of whatever we want. Or perhaps what just appears to be so.

But in the end, disloyalty never brings satisfaction or contentment because we’ll always have a reason to leave. Only true loyalty, first to our Father and then to those He calls us to, can bring contentment, the kind that comes when we’re not prone to wander.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” Prov. 17:17

But those who, like Zoey, remain loyal, will bless themselves, even as they bless those they’re loyal to. “…godliness, with contentment, is great gain.” 1 Tim. 6:6

Thankfully, we have our heavenly Father to help us with this, who Himself demonstrates true loyalty– “…if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.” 2 Tim. 2:13

Watch the Pot

“Therefore, keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into.” Mat. 24:42-44

“Wait, I thought we weren’t supposed to do that!” Yes, not too much. But an unwatched pot will probably boil over!

We’ve heard the saying, “A watched pot never boils”, meaning “Don’t just sit around anxiously waiting for something to happen or it will seem to take even longer, or may not even happen at all.” That’s true. But there are also times when we do need to closely observe the process and progress of how things are going, so they don’t go awry.

I’ve discovered this the hard way, when my pot has literally boiled over, with soup or sauce spilling out and creating a big mess as well as loss of whatever escaped the pot. Has anyone else experienced this? It happens when we’re not watching! Who stands by passively when they see a pot start to boil over? If we have any shred of awareness and concern, we immediately turn down the heat, lift the lid, and make sure nothing spills out.  If something has already escaped, we catch it and spoon it back in, if possible, before it reaches the point of no return (stove, floor, dog’s mouth, etc.).

What’s our first thought then? “I wish I’d been watching to prevent this from happening!” That’s much easier than damage control and loss.

So it is with life. Life at home, at work, in relationships with others, and ultimately in our own personal development. What can happen if we don’t keep watch over the process, the group dynamics, and our own hearts, so that the “pot” boils over?

• A project in which something goes wrong, resulting in a lot of wasted time, energy, and resources. Lost and gone. We have to go back to “square one”. We could have prevented all that by checking in periodically and course correcting if necessary.

• A broken relationship because you and/or someone else wasn’t guarding their tongue. With soup or sauce, we may be able to put it back into the pot after it boils over, if we don’t mind the possible contamination of whatever it landed on when it spilled. But we can’t take back our words (only email lets us “unsend” and even that has to be watched to do it quickly enough. See https://willyounotbeawareofit.wordpress.com/2019/04/29/undo-send/  for more about this). Once those regrettable words land on the ears of the receiver, the damage is done. Apologies, the sooner the better, help. But, like putting the soup/sauce back in the pot, our communication has already been contaminated. We could have prevented that by thinking before we speak. “Is what I’m about to say… True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?”

“An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.” Prov. 18:19

• Division among team, family, group members because of unchecked attitudes of disrespect, disregard, misunderstanding, etc. Basically, the above when it expands and continues. This represents a pot left unwatched for so long that all the soup/sauce escapes and the pot gets scorched. Here, all good will escapes, people get burned, and it will take a lot of intentional “scrubbing” to restore the relationship. We could’ve prevented this by noticing earlier how we were regarding other people and doing an attitude-check.

• Blaming, finger-pointing, fault-finding, when everyone knows someone’s in trouble, and you/they don’t want it to be you/them. At this point no one is owning anything for fear of “getting the axe” jobwise or otherwise. Everyone’s so focused on saving their reputation and standing no one is dealing with the problem or coming up with a solution. We prevent this by taking responsibility and owning up with humility. At some point the truth will come out anyway, and people will forgive us more readily if we confess than if we try to cover up. Better to “eat humble pie” than get “hung out to dry”!

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Prov. 28:13

• Loss of face and reputation when it’s our fault. As noted above, that’s extremely difficult to reverse, which is why people blame each other when things go wrong! We prevent the own-fault part by being careful every step of the way, whether it’s planning an event, carrying out a project, or carrying on a conversation (especially a crucial or difficult one).

• Feelings of guilt, shame, and discouragement when our attitude and/or action is the cause of the “spillage” and damage. All these feelings are debilitating enough by themselves, but when good reasons stand behind them, they’ll really sink us! We prevent falling into these “potholes” along the road, by watching where we “walk” in our thought life and resulting behavior.

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise…” Eph. 5:15

All these scenarios have one thing in common—A big mess that someone has to clean up! We can prevent that by watching.

Does this mean we have to hover and micromanage? No. That would be anxiously standing over the proverbial pot. Somewhere between lifting the lid too often and passively leaving projects and followers to run themselves, there’s a balance. Find it and the soup will turn out superb!