What Happens If It Doesn’t

What happens if it doesn’t happen? Sometimes we need to let it.

You know the scenario—either you or someone else says, “If I don’t do this, it won’t happen.” That may be true. If you don’t take the initiative, take ownership, take responsibility, the work may not get done, the hoped-for event may not happen, something won’t get taken care of.

Now, ask yourself this question— “What happens if it doesn’t happen?” If that means disaster, then you’ll have to step in and make sure nothing drops.

But what if it falls far short of the Apocalypse if that thing doesn’t happen? Better yet, what if it not happening produces a greater good as a result?

Or, what if we find out we’re wrong? What if someone else does the work? Years ago, my “adopted mom”, a very kind and capable, servant-hearted, woman, lamented to me about no one but her stepping up to spearhead the monthly church charity-lunches held on behalf of the community. Others were discovering that there is such a thing as a free lunch, at least for them, but not for her (or whoever paid for the food)!

I responded, “Maybe no one else is stepping up because they know you’ll always do it for them.” “Yes, but if I don’t do it, it won’t happen!”  That’s the common plight and slogan of get-it-done people everywhere, in every nation, tribe, organization, corporation, and family.

Maybe they’re right. Maybe you’re right if you’re this person—the only one taking ownership. In that case, let me suggest ways to get out of this perpetual scenario (once you’re sure the world and/or your job won’t end if it doesn’t get done):

Let people know you can’t do it. Tell them you don’t have the capacity, time, energy, resources, to be in charge. You can offer to help (if you’d like) and advise but not be responsible.

Ask for volunteers to take on that role, or if possible, assign someone. Delegate. If you hesitate to do this, ask yourself why. Are you afraid the job won’t get done right if you don’t do it? Not keeping our hands on something means giving up control. Giving up control requires trust in whoever we give responsibility (and therefore control) to. Yes, that can be scary. Especially if you’re used to being the one in charge.

But if we want relief, we have to trust someone else with the process and the product. Just ask Moses in the Bible. He was overwhelmed and overburdened with taking care of a million contentious Israelites. “If I don’t do it, it won’t happen!” Finally, his father-in-law Jethro talked sense into him and got him to trust some others with judging disputes and taking care of other matters. (See Exod. 18:13-26) That’s how we got our current court system in the U.S., which works much better than sending everything straight to the Supreme Court.

Ultimately, we have to trust the Lord Himself to make happen whatever needs to happen. We do this by:

1. Knowing Who He is—His character— All powerful, all good, holy, loving, etc. All of Scripture demonstrates and states this.

2. Remembering what He’s done—His track record. For example—

“Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Ps. 103:2-5

3. Remembering we’re not Him— when we feel like everything will drop and cease functioning without us, remind ourselves there’s only one Messiah needed in the universe, and He came over two thousand years ago!

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Is. 9:6

With all this in mind, don’t worry! Instead, anticipate these possible positive results:

1. Someone else will step up and you’ll be relieved of overwhelm and extra burden.

2. Whoever steps up will appreciate having the opportunity. As long as you were occupying that space of leadership/ownership/getting-it-done, others didn’t see any room for them. Now that space is free, and someone is glad to step in.

3. Maybe no one can or will do that work and you’ll be right, “it” won’t happen—but now you can ask yourself if it needed to! If no one cares enough to get it done, maybe it’s not so vital.

4. What if it really did need to happen? Everyone will discover that when it doesn’t, and it’s not your fault! Next time, someone else will make sure it does, because people won’t just depend on you. You did, after all, let them know. Lesson learned. As long as your not-doing didn’t cause the downfall of the company, the organization, the church, or your family, which is highly unlikely, that lesson is positive.

Don’t be afraid to find out what happens if you don’t make it happen! Sometimes, just as Jesus told Martha when she complained to him about having to “make it happen”, He tells us to choose “the better part” of sitting at His feet and leaving the “happen” in His and others’ hands –Lk. 10:38-42.

It’s Not Over ‘Til the Last Line is Sung

On MLK Day we took some of our youth group bowling (many grateful parents).  Some could bowl pretty well, others not so well, but we all had a BALL–  doing our best, encouraging and cheering each other on, laughing, and stuffing our faces with pizza 🙂

I also noticed some interesting phenomena during our three games (part of the deal):

First—At the very beginning, none of us were “living up to our potential”, and the gutters seemed to be magnetic where the balls on lanes were concerned.  But no one gave up.

Second—As a result, most of us got better as the games went on.  Those that took the advice of the more experienced, better bowlers, really improved—the gutters lost their magnetic power, and novices began to get strikes and spares. The veteran bowlers got warmed up and found our stride.  We were all on a roll!

Third—Everyone did better when we used a ball that fit each of us best in weight and hole-size.  Not  the ones that fit other people, no matter how good they looked when they used them.

Fourth— For me, both my first two games started out below average, but something “clicked” and I ended up above my “normal”.  The third game I finally continued doing what worked, right from the beginning, so it became my best game.

Fifth—  By the last half of the third game, some of the youth got tired and/or discouraged, lost interest, and quit playing.

 

Lessons learned from these phenomena:

First—No matter how hard things are or how much you fail at first, don’t give up!  Don’t give up on yourself.  Don’t give up on the process.  Don’t give up on the goal.  As Henry Ford put it, “Failure is…the opportunity to begin again… more intelligently.”  And we’ll hopefully continue more intelligently as well!

Second—  As in bowling, our lives, character, and competence will improve if we remain humble and teachable enough to learn from the Lord and others.  Not giving up keeps us on the road to success.  Seeking and receiving truth and wise instruction gives us wheels and fuel on that road.  Practice, living it out, gets us to our destination.

Third—What works for someone else may not work for us.  Just as each of us have been uniquely designed by God, He designs gifts, abilities, and ways of doing things that are custom-made to fit us.  Some of these may overlap with others, but will never be completely the same, because they aren’t us, and we’re not them.  That’s why serious bowlers get custom-made balls that fit their hand, strength, and style.

It’s also why David refused to use King Saul’s armor when he went up against Goliath, even though Saul offered it.  Because when David tried it on, it didn’t fit—it was too big, clunky, and made him clumsy.  So he told the king, “I cannot go in these… I’m not used to them.” He  took off the armor and used what fit him– his own slingshot and stones.  That worked.  The giant went down. (1 Sam. 17:32-40)

Fourth— When mastering anything there’s always a learning curve.  And often, just when we think we’ve “got it down”, we find ourselves needing to relearn or readjust something to get it right again.  As long as we keep learning and adjusting, the time will come when we can get it consistently—like my third game in bowling!

Fifth— Keep at it. What if farmers decide their work is too hard or “nothing is going to come up anyway, so why try?”  No harvest.  Nothing to eat.  Yet the Lord has promised, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up.” (Gal. 6:9)

The main take-away:  It’s not how we start, but how we finish, that counts.  Even the worst start can be redeemed and make us win at life, as long as we follow good guidance, face forward, and keep pressing on toward the goal (Phil. 3:12-14).

If we start well, that’s even more reason to continue well.

Keep singing your life-song.  With the Lord’s help, we will all end on a good note!

 

Seeing The Victory

A few years ago, some friends gave us a game for Christmas, called “Sequence”.  In this game, each player has 7 playing cards, with matching playing card pictures on a board.  Going in turn, players place their chips, designated by color, on a picture matching one of their cards.  So, for example, if someone has the queen of diamonds in their hand, they can place their chip on that picture.  Then they discard that card and draw a new one from the deck.  The first player to successfully place five chips in a row, vertical, horizontal, or diagonal, wins the game.  Of course, this involves strategy as well as luck.  To add excitement and fun (or perhaps frustration to the player whose goal gets blocked), one-eyed Jacks act as “spoilers”, with the sole function of removing someone else’s chip.  A player holding such a Jack usually uses it when another player has 4 chips in a row, strategically plucking out one of the middle chips!  Two-eyed Jacks act as wild-cards, able to place anywhere as a substitute for another card the player doesn’t have but needs.  Two playing cards and corresponding pictures exist for every number and suit (for example, two 10 of hearts).  So no player can be sure of any particular space.

Life can look a lot like that game.  Just when we think we’re about to finally reach our particular goal, a “spoiler” comes along and messes us up!  That “one-eyed Jack” can be a circumstance, illness, someone else who doesn’t want us to “win” (like a jealous co-worker), or the source of all that—the enemy of our souls.  They cut us out at gut-level.  But the difference between “Sequence” and life for those who walk in sequence to (follow) the Lord, is that He always makes a way where there is no way and refills those “bombed out” areas in our lives. (Is. 43:16-19).  He becomes our “two-eyed Jack”, enabling us to occupy the spaces we need to, no matter what “cards” we’re missing,

What if someone else is holding the cards we need and they occupy that space so as to block us from reaching our goals?  Again that “someone else” could be a human adversary or circumstances, although in the end we know who our real, ultimate, enemy is (Satan) (Eph. 6:12). In that case, the Lord Himself becomes our “one-eyed Jack”, spoiling the enemy’s attempt to block us from achieving victory.

Of course, this all assumes that our goals align with glorifying and growing in Him (2 Thes.1:11-12).

And, for the actual game of Sequence, players are hopefully not each other’s enemies, “out to get” each other, even though we do play strategically to win!  And, luck does play a part in it.

One evening, my husband, son, and I were playing, and the deck had dwindled as we each placed our chips, discarded that card, and drew another card as an option for our next turn.  We laughed a lot as we got into both row-building and blocking each other with our respective color-chips, cards, “removers”, and a wild-card here and there.  Then, just after another defensive-block play, I noticed something– my husband had already won, probably at least 4 rounds earlier!  There in front of us, lay a diagonal blue row of chips, in the midst of a nearly-full board!  “Look!”, I declared, “Dad already won a while ago!  Congratulations, dad!”  Somehow, in the midst of all our defensive moves and blocks, we’d all failed to notice someone’s victory.  “Can you believe it?”, I asked, as we all laughed about the way we’d kept going, totally unaware of that 5-blue row.  “We were so busy doing defense, we didn’t see that!”  Which made me think–  life often happens like this–  we’re so busy worrying about defending ourselves against problems, possible future troubles, and the devil himself, we fail to notice the victory!

Yes, we need to be on guard (1 Pet. 5:8-9). Yes, we need to resist the devil Jas. 4:7).  Yes, we need to plan and act strategically.  But, don’t lose sight of the victory!  Scripture abounds with promises that God wins, is winning, has won, will win in the end, and gives victory to those that seek and love Him!  [Ps. 108:13; Jn. 16:33, and many more).

Also, we don’t want to forget the verse after the one on resisting the devil—the one that commands us to “draw near to God”, first, so as to be able to resist the devil (Jas. 4:8). When we do draw near to Him, He’ll not only give us the victory, He’ll show us the victory.  Ask Him for eyes to see and walk in it—our blue-chip winning rows, designed, well-placed, and provided by our Sovereign Lord.