How to End Your Day

At the end of the day, there has to be an end of the day.

In other words, know when it’s time to stop working. Set boundaries around your time. Work won’t stop, but we can.

But how can we get everything done? In one way, we can’t. As long as we live, we’ll have stuff we need to do. In any job, any position, any age, any organization, and any personal goals. Even babies discover right away they have assignments—get fed, get their diaper changed, get whatever else they need from someone. That’s called “delegating”.

The load will wax and wane in various seasons of life, but the completion of it all won’t end until we do here on earth.

That’s actually more encouraging than it seems. Why? Since that’s an unrealistic expectation, it means we don’t need to expect it of ourselves. At least not in terms of the all-encompassing “everything”.

At the same time, we can define the “everything” we need to complete in a day, a week, a month, a quarter, a year, and so on. We do that by:

• Setting the boundary for each day before starting it. Decide ahead of time when it ends, in terms of getting stuff done.
• Defining what we really need to get done in each of those periods of time. For example, if the bill has to be paid by this date, the deadline for completion is “end of day”, etc., that means “do it today”.
• Prioritizing so those “have to”s do get done. Using Michael Hyatt’s matrix of urgent and important– whatever is both important and urgent, do that first. Then decide between whatever’s urgent but not so important, or important but not so urgent. Hint—if the professor, boss, leader, says it’s urgent, it’s urgent.
• Leaving the rest as “hope to”s—at least for now, until they become more urgent and/or important.
• Keeping the “have-to-do” list short enough to not feel pressured to keep going past the time limit to get it all done.
• Not taking on too much to begin with. Ask “Is this really for me to do?” Not to encourage irresponsibility, although, it’s likely that people who have trouble ending their day aren’t lazy to begin with. This leads to–
• Delegating. That skill we naturally developed as babies comes in handy as a lifelong, lifesaving, skill. Moses in the Bible learned this lesson from his father-in-law, when he was trying to judge a million people by himself (see Ex. 18:13-26).
• Realizing that whatever doesn’t get done today will still get done in time as long as we pace ourselves. Our productivity is proportionate to our energy and concentration. Trying to cram more into a never-ending day will result in a decline in both.

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Ps. 90:12

Here’s an example, from my own life: As with many (if not all of us), I’m easily distracted by “Do this NOW!” signals entering my mind. How do these signals come? Sometimes they’re someone coming up to me and telling me “I need this done/Please…” (or some form of that). Other times they appear as notices at the top or bottom of my computer screen. Or as text/message notifications on my phone or a communication app. Then, there’s the ever-present urge to check my email, and when I do, a message reminds me of something I need to do and forgot earlier, and now “time is running out…better do it now before I forget again!” You get the picture.

Such as while I’ve been writing this article, all of the above as happened. I skirted the computer “flash-up” notices, glanced at the pop-ups on the phone (sound is off), and managed to stay the course here… until a thought popped into my head—“Oh, I’d better check when my doctor’s appointment is tomorrow, so I can answer the coaching client who just texted to ask if I’m available at a certain time.” That “wind-gust” of thought blew me off course into checking my email and seeing that I still had to fill out the new-patient intake form. You know, those never-ending pages of required fields that demand our life story before we can see the medical practitioner. Tyranny of the “urgent” kicked in and I started filling it out…next…next… “Oh yeah, my article! Do I really need to fill out this form immediately when the appointment isn’t until tomorrow?!”

That’s the key question to ask—“Do I really need to (whatever it is) right now?” The sooner we ask that, the better. Develop a habit of it until that question becomes the automatic filter-trigger for every demand that enters our minds from whatever source. Once triggered, assess that demand according to the conditions listed above. Is it within bounds? Is it something someone can do and perhaps do better? Where does it belong on the “urgent/important” matrix? If I say “yes” to this now, what else am I saying “no” to?

It also helps to: Keep our phone upside down and on silent; turn off any sound-making notices; stopping visual notifications so they don’t break our concentration; (if pop-up notices still need to occur, train our mind to glance quickly and ignore them for now until we can check them later). That will help us end our day when we need to, when we don’t keep getting “blown away”, and having to keep coming back.

For our own sake as well as the sake of others, we need to end our day and get some rest! Leaders– this includes us– we lead best when we know how to end our days well.

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Ps. 4:8

Jesus is here to help us– Mat. 11:28-30– “’Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’”

How are you going to end your day today?

How to Achieve Balance

Ever feel like you’re going bananas trying to balance your life? First, there’s your family: your spouse and his/her needs; training and helping your kids, who are running in all different directions, some of which you have to take them to; perhaps an aging parent you’re caring for.

Then, there’s the household responsibilities, any volunteer service you may be doing, etc. On top of that, don’t forget you have a paying job with all its responsibilities and expectations!

And wouldn’t it be great to add spending time with friends, time to relax, and time for personal development in there? This includes quality time with the Lord and spiritual growth.

The fact that it took three paragraphs to describe it all shows how difficult balancing our lives can be! But take heart, it can be done! Here’s how:

First, put the Lord first, firmly in the center, as the foundation upon which everything else stands. This means “love Him with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength” (Deut. 6:5, Luke 10:27).

After that, base all our goals, plans, and deciding what to do and when on His agenda and advice, not on ours or others’. “Trust in the Lord in all your ways, lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight.” (Prov. 3:5-6).

We’ll also have a lot less frustration and stress this way, because our plans often get messed up, but His always stand. “In their hearts, people plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (Prov. 16:9) That’s why it’s best to “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” (Prov. 16:3).

Then, determine our core values– what are those few things we wouldn’t give up for anything else? They can’t be too many, or they won’t be core anymore. These don’t all have to be “spiritual-sounding”—they just need to not go against Scripture. Here are some examples:

–Friendship

–Family

–Accomplishment/achievement

–Peace

–Excitement

–Adventure

–Security

–Freedom/independence

–Wealth

–Stability

–Change

–Harmony

–Truth

I’ve just listed a few of many. For more, you can do an internet search on values. What do even these few show us? We can’t have them all! Some of them conflict with each other. For example, we often have to choose between getting something done and spending time with people. Or those seeking security can only have so much adventure, and vice-versa.

These core values affect who we want to spend time with, what career/job we choose, and where we prefer to live. For example, if you’re in a culture/environment where those around you value harmony above truth and you put a premium on speaking one’s mind, you’ll think they’re deceitful and they’ll think you’re rude! Likewise, if you’re an adventure-seeker, you may not want to marry someone with a core value of security, unless you both don’t mind not spending time with each other!

Being in a place or job we don’t fit, or with people who have core values that conflict with ours, can definitely shake up our emotional balance. That’s one reason to recognize and stick with our core values.

Second, we need to create our priorities, based on our values. Without that kind of alignment, we won’t be doing the things we really care about. Instead, we’ll be running around trying to please everyone, doing things just to feel better about ourselves, and enslaved by “tyranny of the urgent”.

To avoid this, it helps to remember that we aren’t, can’t be, and don’t need to be, the savior of the world. We already have one, and He did/is doing a much better job than we ever could!

Finally, stick to those priorities and plan your day, week, month, and year accordingly.

• This doesn’t mean be inflexible or unwilling to be “interrupted” by others’ legitimate needs.
• It also doesn’t mean not being open to changing things up or letting the Lord change them up.
• It definitely doesn’t mean an excuse for selfishness.
• It does mean being intentional, so that you “happen to life” and keep your balance, instead of letting life throw you off balance.
• It does mean only change the plans on purpose for a (legitimate) purpose—not according to others’ whims. As mentioned earlier, people-pleasing is one sure way to “get dragged from pillar to post” and lose your balance!

I still remember my dear older friend/”mom” talking about one guy who was always so frantically busy, he was “meeting himself coming around the block!” Don’t be like that guy—I’m sure he lost balance during one of those rounds.

Rest in the Lord, and He’ll make your life balanced and fruitful! In Matt. 11:28-30, He reminded all of us to, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest…”

When we build our lives and schedules on Him as our firm foundation, we can place everything else on that in balanced order, as opposed to letting things pile up and knock us over!

What will you shift today to get better balance in your life?

How to “Level-Up” in Life and Leadership

Imagine this dialogue: 

“How are you doing?” 

“Ok, under the circumstances.” 

“Well, that’s the problem—you’re under the circumstances! Rise above them, and you’ll do much better.”

As leaders, or would-be leaders, at any level of authority, we need to keep rising.  I’m not just talking about position, I’m talking about everything our position should reflect!

Whoever we lead—within an organization, company, or family—can only rise to the level we ourselves have reached.  This applies to the whole group, as well as individually.  So we have to keep rising.

The question is how?  Try harder?  Run faster?  Keep going ‘round and ‘round like the proverbial hamster on a wheel that gets nowhere fast?  For those who’ve done any of these, how has it worked for you?

My guess is that it hasn’t—at least not too well.  Or, if it did work, it only worked for a short while, before the stress, overwhelm, and exhaustion of all the striving got to you and you caved. 

Let me suggest a better way—one that’s counter-intuitive, but actually works if implemented properly—REST.

Now I can picture you saying, “REST?!– What, are you crazy?! No one ever got anywhere or accomplished anything laying around doing nothing!” 

Agreed. But resting doesn’t equal just laying around doing nothing, although some of that is necessary too.  Science does prove we need sleep to rejuvenate and restore our minds and bodies.

But true and complete rest involves so much more.  It involves a mind at rest, a heart at peace, a body without tension, while we’re awake. And yes, even while we’re concentrating, working, exercising, creating, etc.  Plus, we’ll certainly sleep better and awake more refreshed if we attain this whole rest.

In his book, Adrenaline and Stress, Dr. Archibald Hart points out that stress triggers the brain to release adrenaline to deal with whatever the source of that stress is—the “fight or flight syndrome” we’ve heard of.  Granted, some of this is necessary, especially in truly dangerous situations.

The problem comes, though, when we allow this heightened state of alert to persist, due to everything becoming a “crisis” in our minds.  Then the adrenaline we need in our brain for thinking, problem-solving, creativity, learning, etc. is depleted because it’s all been deployed elsewhere.  It’s like having no “troops” left on “home base”.

This leaves us vulnerable to spiritual, emotional, even spiritual “attack” (illness).  Plus, we can’t grow, develop, i.e., rise, without enough energy or mental/emotional resources left to put into it.

I was reminded of this when I was making bread the other day.  Here’s what I noticed:  Bread-dough rises while it’s RESTING, not while it’s agitating or being agitated!

That’s why Is. 30:15 tells us,

“…In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.”

TRUST is key here—When we trust that “God’s got this”, it puts our minds at rest, so the adrenaline can stay there where it’s necessary to strengthen us for whatever we need to accomplish.

So, as with bread, if we truly wish to RISE in—

~character

~maturity

~skill

~impact

~influence

~reputation

~position

–we can’t do so by getting stressed out, worked up, all wound up– in other words, agitated.

Yes, we need to take action, to learn, to initiate. But getting agitated, as stated above, only drains us, and causes us to “cave”, not rise!

So what does it mean to truly rest?

1. “Cease striving and know that I am God.” Ps. 46:10 In the midst of doing whatever He leads us to do, realize that HE is in control, and will make things work out the way they need to.  That takes the load off our minds and shoulders, so we can relax WHILE working!

2.  Partner with Jesus—the One Who’s invited us to…

 “’Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’”  Mat. 11:28-30

Who’d want to pass up that deal– Exchanging our weariness and burdens for His strength and help?!

Just rest in the Lord and put it all into His hands while doing so, and let His Holy Spirit work to make you RISE FROM THE INSIDE OUT!

A soul at rest helps a person rise to their best!